Now that I know

Don't count me out yet , I am still in the game .My enemy do not rejoice over my failures Jehovah Jireh fights my battle .Once tossed by life from pole to pole ,left for dead with friends I trusted , I began to think a lot about my life.

There are times in life that even your family members start avoiding you ,the very people you sacrificed a lot for start treating you like garbage ,where is your God they mock your very existence.

Who am I ,who is my friend ,who should I trust , were they really my friends. Do I really need to have friends in my life ? What did the Bible say about family ?,when I am in need of help who should I ask for help ? What did the Bible say about relationships.

As far as I was feeling low and gloomy I decided to start doing my own research , had no one to disturb me since I had lost friends .Was a loner so i really had nothing to loose. Who am I ? why do I get so hurt when people I help don't help me when I am in need ? How come I attract many fake friends who disappear when I need them most .?

Is something wrong with me ,what exactly should I change ? Is it something to do with my personality ? Had so many unanswered questions but I made one decision to trust in God. With my imperfections I submitted to him for purification. I needed someone to talk to ,he listened to my problems .

But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
1 Corinthians 13:10‭-‬11 KJV

It dawned on me ,that I don't need anyone's approval God designed me equipped for everything.God gave me freedom to be me ,all the time I was crying for friends he was trying to show me that I had to take a bold step alone . He gave me boldness to speak my mind without fear of prejudice.

The kingdom of God is within me ,don't need to fit in . My language changed from being a man of want to being content , eventually I became in love with myself . I am no longer identified with material possessions but they identify with me. Once I would buy things ,dress a certain way ,talk in a certain way to prove myself to everyone but I am liberated from that as well .

In Christ there is fulfilment ,God is love .The Lord is my shepherd I want no more Psalms 23. He has given me rest I can't comprehend .Thank you Jesus Christ for dying for me

Shalom